Doing the Right Thing is sometimes F"?%$ing hard

It was not until late last month did I finally do the right thing regarding my incessant lack of will power to open my big mouth and stand up for myself in regards to a family issue. Yes, at 45 I still allowed people treat me as a doormat rather than a sister, an aunt, a wife and at times a mom (not very often).

I found it hard to discern the fine line between compassion and doormat. Actually, most of my life is strewn with reckless abandonment for my own needs but high priority on those of others. I did not see beyond putting other people first and in most cases doing what others asked of me.

As most can attest, there is always a straw that breaks the camel's back and my camel's back broke last month under the heavy weight of so-called "family" obligations. I stood outside the box and looked in realizing I didn't like what I saw. Shocked is more accurate to my summation and I could not live one more day like this. Just for your sake, there is really more drama to this than I care to get into.

I put my foot down in a big way very quietly, if that is at all possible. I had lengthy conversations with my sisters about this over the years but never really did anything bold about it until last month. I spoke in earnest to Cece, my younger sister, who whole heartedly agreed with me. Although, I think she lives vicariously through my actions perched on her fence and I respect that.

As my new found courage and action slowly swept through my family, it made people uncomfortable and uneasy, including me. This is new for me as it is for my sisters and its heart wrenching and debilitating at times if I allowed it to be. Mostly, I am proud of myself for standing my ground and that's very comforting.

And now to my point, nobody tells you it's hard to do the right thing, not that I was asking but sh*@. For a newbie, being a doormat is calmer and passive, being a person who does the right thing is harder but in the end it's definitely more satisfying and a great part of life. Here's to doing the right thing. Cheers.