As Wall Street tumbles and world markets shake, I recall a speech Warren Buffet gave at an east coast university years ago: "Everybody here has the ability to do anything I do and much beyond. Some of you will, and some of you won't. For those who won't, it will be because you get in your own way, not because the world doesn't allow you to." He basically says "get out of your own way" and I wonder if that's the case today. Are we a generation in our own way?
Monday, September 29, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Picking sides..........
I think one of the worst things to realize we unintentionally pick sides with our children. This morning as I car pool boys to school for an early Ultimate Frisbee practice (Really, I'll get to ridiculous sports one day soon, promise) my boys fight over radio stations and who’s turn it is. For the first five minutes, I take in all the bickering and use my proven fairness technique of "The Five Minute Rule". The “Five Minute Rule” enacted this summer to instill fairness among my boys and maintain my sanity in our hour-long ride to the cottage. Two minutes into the rule the Red, older one, unfasten his seat belt in a moving vehicle to change channels. His irate behavior is noticeable in his face as he leans into the front seat to switch channels. Oh course I freak out and advise him to buckle up. Somewhere is this little skirmish transference occurs and I am the irate referee not car-pool mom. Firm and authoritative I drive the endless meandering streets of our small city on route to school. Red attempts on more than one occasion to blow off the rule and use his encyclopedia of reasoning and whining to get Top 20 on 20 on the airwaves. Unintentionally, I pick sides with my little one barking back to Red five minutes is not up knowing were into minute seven. Ugh. Only after the hundredth stop sign did the thought cross my mind I am choosing sides here. Hit me with the red bricks of his school, poor Eli, our carpool boy, must endure Red's mom so early in the morning. Busted. I pick sides by letting my little one listen to his 24/7 Emergency Alert channel for twice as long. Unintentionally though? Or so I think. Red is right all along when he cries I pick sides, admittedly not always for the same son. This morning I unintentionally do it again. Or was it intentional? Whatever the case I sit for a moment in the drop off lane and question my motives. No sooner, did it register, the doors fly open, book bags moving and the boys depart. Quickly, exiting the car and I trail behind them feeling like a heel. What a terrible mom I am? How could I pick side with my own kids? I did this with Hot Husband too. He brings it to my attention often enough. Is it fair to pick sides with your own children? I can see how easier it is with other children but with my own, ugh. This is something I will not share with my boys but intend on fixing. As a wise elder once said “some things are better left unsaid” and I plead the fifth when my sanity depends on it. Have a great day…
Monday, September 22, 2008
Asking the dead
I often wonder in minute situations my mother's opinion and surely I am not alone on this one. Like today, I could use her advice on a home remedy for my little one's cold? Or does she have a secret ingredient for chicken soup. Sometimes I forget if she even made chicken soup. My mother died almost twenty years ago and not a day goes by when I think of her or need to ask her a question. I have five doe sisters but it doesn't add up to a mother's touch. A service for asking the dead is needed. Your deceased loved one just a call away! What a cool invention, no offense to the channelling your spirit industry. Being able to call your dead mom for a quick chat is a novel idea. My Doe's offer advice all the time: some good, some idiotic and some not warranted but really some things are better broached with your mom, dead or alive. Especially the non-judgemental and motherly words because face it mothers are also over bearing, opinionated, and sometimes nosy. By the way, I make a yummy chicken soup and my son is back to school healthy and lively as any seven year old. Right about now he is proving my point as he litters the snack wrapper wondering what his mom would think if she knew. Mother's opinions are warranted not necessarily always right but welcomed but in my case.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Kids and money
Last night my son sorted coins from piggy bank, making a racket, I entered his room, looking at his bed the coins rested in the pleats and rumbles of the comforter. He explained a unique way of tallying up his coins. As I exited the money-counting scene, he asked to join me on the next trip to the grocery store. This morning he asked the same thing, retorting back I reminded him it was a boring chore to grocery shop, he insisted. He wanted use a Coin Redeemer contraption at the customer service counter. Aha, I thought. What is the motive behind this sudden need for cash, I wondered? After he left for school, it was still on my mind. Did my son want to buy something? If so, what? Moreover, why not ask me? Or did he just want spending money? The idea of money was beginning to form more concretely in my son’s mind. Always a great saver, I noticed lately coins in his pocket, occasionally riding his bike to the corner store to buy candy. One day I sat him down and made it clear it was his money but needed my permission to spend it, hoping to teach great money habits. Therefore, this morning’s conversation puzzled me. But as I thought about it more things began to add up. Over the summer, he mentioned things a famous rocker owned. He talked about cribs of the rich and famous and what he would buy with a million dollars. Dirt bike, ATV, BB Gun, and a Sport Car. Being a smart kid, he understood the material disparity between our life and theirs. It was this particular sense of disparity that concerned me. I knew disparity quite well. Growing up, disparity was a huge focus for me. I noted it everywhere and not only monetarily. I noted in love, family, belongings, intellectually and even physically. I knew how it affected a person’s confidence and worth. Knowing how damaging it could become, I did not want it taking too space in his life.
I really wanted to tell him money does not indicate your worth. Where and when did he get such ideas? From me. From his dad. From his friends. Knowing it did not necessarily come from just one source, I found an area that blinded my son into believing money makes the man. Reality Television. Reality television showcases people doing just about anything for money, like: eating bugs, selling their dignity, dancing, tattooing, and living in the jungle. We are in the midst of a era where the younger generation want fame believing to some extent its equivalent to money, thus equivalent to happiness. Once they have the money, the tendency viewed is it is an end all to everything. Money is naming us, making us do silly things, undignified things; we’re letting money be our ticket. To where? To MTV, to mansion full of disposable material items, to a shallow life based on such an intangible item like money. Reality shows fail to show, for ratings of course, the downside of fame and money. There is no footage of maintaining fame or the costs of sustaining a highly publicized lifestyle. In reality, fame and money more often than not messes up a young person’s life. Proof. Read today’s Page Six in the New York Post on a young oil heir’s problems maintaining such an extravagant lifestyle. I want to tell my son “look at this young man.” I do not want him disillusioned by popular culture, not to equate happiness with money, fame, or material things.
I want him to know money is only one aspect of life. Being a good person tops the list. In my son’s life, I constantly show him all the other aspects of importance like family, school, sports, love and helping others. It is every mother’s dream to raise their children with good morals and values. Distressing as it may, reality television tantalizes my son like many other young teenagers in North America. Recently, my husband blocked out channels, specifically MTV and limited television viewing. Whether we like it or not, access to popular culture not only exists on television but on the internet, at school and amongst friends to name a few. It’s going to be part of their life in one aspect or another, being our own reality television show of sorts by showing your child love, respect, equality and the art of giving not taking is a start. Deep down my son knows the truth or the reality of life because as I write this he is at school helping somebody with something. One of his many endearing qualities………
I really wanted to tell him money does not indicate your worth. Where and when did he get such ideas? From me. From his dad. From his friends. Knowing it did not necessarily come from just one source, I found an area that blinded my son into believing money makes the man. Reality Television. Reality television showcases people doing just about anything for money, like: eating bugs, selling their dignity, dancing, tattooing, and living in the jungle. We are in the midst of a era where the younger generation want fame believing to some extent its equivalent to money, thus equivalent to happiness. Once they have the money, the tendency viewed is it is an end all to everything. Money is naming us, making us do silly things, undignified things; we’re letting money be our ticket. To where? To MTV, to mansion full of disposable material items, to a shallow life based on such an intangible item like money. Reality shows fail to show, for ratings of course, the downside of fame and money. There is no footage of maintaining fame or the costs of sustaining a highly publicized lifestyle. In reality, fame and money more often than not messes up a young person’s life. Proof. Read today’s Page Six in the New York Post on a young oil heir’s problems maintaining such an extravagant lifestyle. I want to tell my son “look at this young man.” I do not want him disillusioned by popular culture, not to equate happiness with money, fame, or material things.
I want him to know money is only one aspect of life. Being a good person tops the list. In my son’s life, I constantly show him all the other aspects of importance like family, school, sports, love and helping others. It is every mother’s dream to raise their children with good morals and values. Distressing as it may, reality television tantalizes my son like many other young teenagers in North America. Recently, my husband blocked out channels, specifically MTV and limited television viewing. Whether we like it or not, access to popular culture not only exists on television but on the internet, at school and amongst friends to name a few. It’s going to be part of their life in one aspect or another, being our own reality television show of sorts by showing your child love, respect, equality and the art of giving not taking is a start. Deep down my son knows the truth or the reality of life because as I write this he is at school helping somebody with something. One of his many endearing qualities………
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
"Just Knowing" copyrighted DoeSister 2008
Did you ever just know something? Call it intuition, your gut, or just knowing, the label is not important but the meaning is. Intuition according to the New Webster dictionary means quick and ready insight or my definition: just knowing.
Most people experienced intuition on some level in their lifetime and some use it quite often. From business people to mothers, intuition plays a vital role in our lives. I can honestly admit to using it a third of the time. I remember years ago using an exercise from Laura Day’s book titled Practical Intuition for a job I had applied for. At the time, I had my resume out for two positions but one I really wanted. I did the exercise and wrote down in detail the job even noting the color of the paint in the lobby. About a month later I was in the neighborhood and decided to pass by the office. To my astonishment the paint was the same color I noted. Now months later, there on business I had the opportunity to visit first hand. I did intuitively get the paint colors correct for the next door office and albeit I had taken the other job I applied for. I thought I was using intuition but I wasn’t experiencing its full power. Looking closer at this ; I recognize that I was getting a job even better than the one I longed for, in the same environment I wanted and even better hours.
Just knowing things are going to work out is intuition. Just knowing the right thing to do is intuition. Just knowing everything will be okay is intuition.
For women, it’s been labeled mother’s instinct, for men their gut feeling. At this moment hundreds of men on the trading floors of stock exchanges and brokerage firms are using their own version of intuition. Even famous people, like Albert Einstein and Oprah use it and I bet even Warren Buffet. I have this theory of Warren Buffet just knowing. It goes something like this if I can put it into words because I just know. Buffet’s approach to investing has intrigued many, while most investing today is done short term, his approach to it is long term or termed value investing. How did he know a stock like Coke would grow to what it is today? I call it “just knowing.” Instead of looking to the immediate I think Buffet uses his intuition and believes these companies would exponentially grow, this my friend is called “Just Knowing.” I am not inferring his entire fortune rests on intuition but I would guess a large percentage is bestowed on it.
“Knowing just Knowing” is trusting yourself enough to regard those gut feelings or intuition that is in you, in everybody. Like just knowing I will have a great day, bye.
Most people experienced intuition on some level in their lifetime and some use it quite often. From business people to mothers, intuition plays a vital role in our lives. I can honestly admit to using it a third of the time. I remember years ago using an exercise from Laura Day’s book titled Practical Intuition for a job I had applied for. At the time, I had my resume out for two positions but one I really wanted. I did the exercise and wrote down in detail the job even noting the color of the paint in the lobby. About a month later I was in the neighborhood and decided to pass by the office. To my astonishment the paint was the same color I noted. Now months later, there on business I had the opportunity to visit first hand. I did intuitively get the paint colors correct for the next door office and albeit I had taken the other job I applied for. I thought I was using intuition but I wasn’t experiencing its full power. Looking closer at this ; I recognize that I was getting a job even better than the one I longed for, in the same environment I wanted and even better hours.
Just knowing things are going to work out is intuition. Just knowing the right thing to do is intuition. Just knowing everything will be okay is intuition.
For women, it’s been labeled mother’s instinct, for men their gut feeling. At this moment hundreds of men on the trading floors of stock exchanges and brokerage firms are using their own version of intuition. Even famous people, like Albert Einstein and Oprah use it and I bet even Warren Buffet. I have this theory of Warren Buffet just knowing. It goes something like this if I can put it into words because I just know. Buffet’s approach to investing has intrigued many, while most investing today is done short term, his approach to it is long term or termed value investing. How did he know a stock like Coke would grow to what it is today? I call it “just knowing.” Instead of looking to the immediate I think Buffet uses his intuition and believes these companies would exponentially grow, this my friend is called “Just Knowing.” I am not inferring his entire fortune rests on intuition but I would guess a large percentage is bestowed on it.
“Knowing just Knowing” is trusting yourself enough to regard those gut feelings or intuition that is in you, in everybody. Like just knowing I will have a great day, bye.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Feeling Good
Today I choose to feel good.
Is it not one of the simplest statements and yet one of the hardest to accomplish?
When you think about how many times in a day you feel good, think again. Try to recall how many times your thoughts wander into not so "good thought" territory? Like right now, are you thinking about what to make for dinner, how your kids are doing at school, is your sister still pissed at you? In fact, in a span of less than a minute you could have up to 100 not so good thoughts. Try this, in one day, in a morning, in an hour or in ten minutes, count how many times you feel good and how many times you feel bad. You really need to monitor closely and at times it can be quite challenging. For example, you're driving to work and the traffic is almost non-existent, you feel great that your actually traveling past 30 mph on the freeway. But then you think, is there something wrong? Where are all the morning commuters? Is today a holiday? OMG I sent my kids to school on a holiday? You call your husband to see what day it really is? This my friend is not feeling good. On top of that, it could have all transpired in less than a minute. So instead of embracing the moment and enjoying it, you allowed your thoughts to trail off into the abyss of negative ones.
Is it just too hard to feel good all the time? For a reformed pessimist it used to be. Now, I train my thoughts to feeling good. Great news. Currently, I keep a conscious note of feeling good and I must admit at times it too is challenging. In the span of writing this blog, my thoughts are all over the place and I continually bring them back to the idea of sharing my little tidbit for today is a good thing. Then I smile. The results have lunged me into the good spectrum of the rainbow and is quite noticeable by HH (Hot Husband). So much so, not long ago, he gave a toast to me in front of a group of our closest friends and family. He talked about how much I changed for the better and he was so sincere and gracious I smiled as it brought me to tears.
So, yes it is possible to feel good most of the time. All of the time is quite another endeavour. I still need the odd time to get pissed, feel bad and or angry. I have not mastered utopia like the Dali Lama or Mother Theresa. Plus, I feel great trying. :)
Is it not one of the simplest statements and yet one of the hardest to accomplish?
When you think about how many times in a day you feel good, think again. Try to recall how many times your thoughts wander into not so "good thought" territory? Like right now, are you thinking about what to make for dinner, how your kids are doing at school, is your sister still pissed at you? In fact, in a span of less than a minute you could have up to 100 not so good thoughts. Try this, in one day, in a morning, in an hour or in ten minutes, count how many times you feel good and how many times you feel bad. You really need to monitor closely and at times it can be quite challenging. For example, you're driving to work and the traffic is almost non-existent, you feel great that your actually traveling past 30 mph on the freeway. But then you think, is there something wrong? Where are all the morning commuters? Is today a holiday? OMG I sent my kids to school on a holiday? You call your husband to see what day it really is? This my friend is not feeling good. On top of that, it could have all transpired in less than a minute. So instead of embracing the moment and enjoying it, you allowed your thoughts to trail off into the abyss of negative ones.
Is it just too hard to feel good all the time? For a reformed pessimist it used to be. Now, I train my thoughts to feeling good. Great news. Currently, I keep a conscious note of feeling good and I must admit at times it too is challenging. In the span of writing this blog, my thoughts are all over the place and I continually bring them back to the idea of sharing my little tidbit for today is a good thing. Then I smile. The results have lunged me into the good spectrum of the rainbow and is quite noticeable by HH (Hot Husband). So much so, not long ago, he gave a toast to me in front of a group of our closest friends and family. He talked about how much I changed for the better and he was so sincere and gracious I smiled as it brought me to tears.
So, yes it is possible to feel good most of the time. All of the time is quite another endeavour. I still need the odd time to get pissed, feel bad and or angry. I have not mastered utopia like the Dali Lama or Mother Theresa. Plus, I feel great trying. :)
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Back To School
Today is a big day in my household, my boys are back to school and HH (Hot Husband) has a full schedule this week. Yippeee!!! I feel a little guilty saying that or in this case writing it but it's true. For the first time in two months I get quiet and stillness in my home. I am a creature of this, always was and always will be. The anxiety of the first day of school showed on my face and my body, I had pep in my stride to the bus stop as my boys less than eagerly trudge their way. I was smiling inside and out. I had their lunches made before they were up, I set my alarm for an early 6:00 am start, coaxed HH out of bed and reminded him the horrible first day back to school traffic. My eagerness today turned out rather annoying for some by the look my older son shot at me as I skipped down the front stairs on our way to the bus stop. In previous years, I was despondent on the first day of school seeing my boys off, missing them before they even left for school, I cried on many occasions feeling my boys were growing up to fast, but mostly was the fact that I didn't spend enough time with them during summer vacation. They spent it with someone else, like a sitter or at camp, and it should have been spent with me, I am their mother. It was the Mother Guilt(MG). Today, it's still here camouflaged by the extra wide smile on my face on the first day of school. There is a tinge of MG sadness my smile tries to erases it but it lurks, right there in the corner where the fresh pink and delicate skin of my upper lip meets my glowing complexion, It's there like an eye tick or a tiny flutter but you need to look very closely. Maybe use a magnify glass.
But mostly, I am happy and exhilarated that I am home alone and have time to myself, which is quite necessary for most people. So what am I going to do with all my time? Hmmmmhhh. Write, read and do a few errands, relax and just enjoy the moments of solitude.
But mostly, I am happy and exhilarated that I am home alone and have time to myself, which is quite necessary for most people. So what am I going to do with all my time? Hmmmmhhh. Write, read and do a few errands, relax and just enjoy the moments of solitude.
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