Parent Week From The Dead

This is a week of my parents, both deceased yet still live in the minds of many. It began early in the week, when my son and I went to my friend Wilma's shop for some beads. She was stationed in the back of her store sewing a last minute order. Her shop is eclectic as best: an internet cafe, DVD rental outfit, seamstress service and custom sewing shop and now has a full line of beads. She has an area set for people who just come to visit and offers up an array of coffee for patrons. Eclectic is the only word that describes her shop. As we browsed, Wilma brought up how she missed my mother and that she was often in her thoughts.

Today, as a meeting came to an end, Ken, a friend of my mom's from way back mentioned how much he missed her. He shook his head in a bowed position leaving just enough so I could see his eyes filled with regret. The gesture is quite familiar when people discuss her. He said life would have been so different if she were still here with us, one event in particular her mere presence would have altered the course for years to come.

Then the other day, I received Facebook message from a distant relative and glad she was to see my dad, albeit on the social network. I could just see the look on my dad's face as I tried to explain Facebook and the internet. My dad was a steak and potatoes kinda guy who hunted and fished, so not into social networking. What a comfort to hear about my dad too!

Memories......

Listen To Your Gut

The other day Oprah asked "What do you know better today than you did a year ago?" I can hear all the men reading this grumble, that's okay, it's called the Oprah effect. Or for a more twisted slant on that read Dennis Leary's book Why We Suck, he devotes an entire chapter to this. In the meantime, ask yourself what you know better today than from a year ago. Sometimes, we lose sight of how we differ year to year but every now and then a reminder helps us put things into perspective.

One thing I know I know is if you believe things will pass and things do. But when you are in the troughs of difficulty it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. For this I know things will pass, guaranteed. The time in which a yucky situation happens eventually passes what lingers is our relentless ego reminding us of the dilemma. I would make a fortune inventing a gadget reminding the ego to cool it, what a cool app.

Another thing I know better is listening to my gut. A year ago today, work started going downhill, if I trusted my gut and listened I would have applied for a great position posted and knew I would get. I did not heed the message, hence, I lost my job four months later and things got worse before they got better.

So today, I know better to listen to my gut and know life lessons are put in your way so you can learn. And boy did I learn.

 

I have to share with you an interesting and sweet thing that happen not once but three times.  Both my parents are now deceased, my dad died four years ago at a tender age of 79 and my mom has been gone 24 years.  As many who lost parents you can attest to the times when people mention them in passing, it touches your heart in a warm and fuzzy way.

Yesterday, as I was leaving a meeting, Ken a friend of my late mom's said how much he missed my mother.  They collaborated on so many things to do with local education and local politics.  Ken bowed his a head a bit and shook it back and forth, only enough for me to see his eyes, then he looked up and said "I really mean that, I think about your mother often and really miss her.  If she were alive, things would have turned out so differently."  True in the most logical sense but he meant differently.  He looked at the other person in the meeting and said "her mom had guts, she was truly fearless."   

Before Ken, I bumped into another friend of my mom's, Wilma.  My son and I dropped in her eclectic shop a combination of:  DVD rentals, internet cafe, bead europium, a coffee lounge, seamstress and custom sewing.  We got to talking about her shop and she blurted right out to me that she was thinking of my mother that very day.  I could understand the politeness of her remark but my mom has been gone  for 24 years, it's not like the grief is fresh.  She said how much she missed my mom and how different things would have turned out if she lived.  It is heart warming to hear that.  

But I am not finished, the other day I received a Facebook message from a relative about my dad.  It took me by surprise and that's why I will share it.  My relative was showing her mom her Facebook page and came across a photo of my dad and she choked up.  My dad and her grew up together and were very close, she always considered him like a brother.  She went on to say kind things about my dad that touched me so sweetly.  And so the theme of my week goes, I bumped into her over dinner last night.  She talked about my dad some more, she misses him too.  

That being said, I forget sometimes the impact we have on other people and the lasting memories our lives leave behind.  So today, take a moment to recall pleasant memories of those we love.  Just a thought.   

R.I.P. Steve Jobs

Today, we are one less brilliant mind in the world with the passing of Steve Jobs.  He revolutionized the world not only in the tech-sphere but in other subtle ways too.

Jobs brought us an idea that changed the way we communicate to one another whether through texts, emails or downloading apps. His impact will be felt for generations to come and that is quite remarkable, like Ford was to transport, Jobs is to communication and technology.

Fifty-six is much to young to depart the living world and today as we turn on our computers, use an app or simply call a friend, remember Steve Jobs and his inventive mind.  Pay him a small tribute and say a pray for his family and friends. Apple.

Life is simply great

You ever get the feeling things are finally going your way? That's how my life is right now, even as frivolous as some things may seem. Like I went shopping this weekend and found my favourite shampoo on the shelf, previously discontinued. Yippee. Then I went shopping with my sister and found so many bargains that ended saving over $20. And the list goes on. I even have a great boss.

And the same can be said for Amanda Knox who is a free woman and back in the U.S. after spending four years in an Italian prison for a murder she did not commit. She can finally walk in freedom from circumstance that didn't belong to her yet dragged her into despite it everything. Sometimes life has a way of showing us things we do not like and in her case the walls of an Italian prison.

It's like jumping through hoops of fire in order to get to the other side and no one says you will go unscathed. So here on this day in history, Amanda Knox is free and in a way so are many of us from situations beyond our control. But as many a great teachers have said its how you stand up from a crisis that foretells what kind of person you are. And stand you may with dignity and your head held high.