Good or Great

Today, I wonder what exactly sets me apart from say a great literary writer or a Pulitzer prize author. Honestly, what sets me apart from the greatest writers of all time. I went to college and university. I studied hard, wrote for a the college paper, wrote for a weekly local paper, did some radio reporting, wrote and wrote. So there! My dream in college was to go to New York, become an expert bond trader, wear Calvin Klein 24/7 and have a fabulous life and write.

What happen. I allowed my dreams to slip away. I allowed the drama of my boring life catch up to me. I allowed sadness from my mother's death cloud my judgement. I allowed that same sadness and grief to turn into fear. At first, just little things became fearful. Like I am going to die of cancer too. The fear crept up and slowly took the seat of my dreams. It moved into my life and I became more and more fearful. I let optimism slip and fear slid in so effortlessly.

Today, after what seems like a life time of fear, and vanquishing it to it's rightful place, I now dream of writing, finishing a book. Yes I have fear but it's not engulfing and stifling my thoughts, my life. I am not choking from it anymore. What's separates me from the greats, just a piece of paper with their name on it. Like art, writing is in the mind of the reader. Great.

First Day of School

I survived, barely, the first day of school for my boys. Both my boys are at new schools and I spent last night filling in forms for the new students. The night before I labeled over a hundred items and wrote out a schedule for my own information. On Monday, I woke a little past six to shower and get ready for the office. I woke my sons and began making lunches, while fixing breakfast and pressing my clothes. I did a load of laundry fixed my own lunch. I brought my oldest to the bus stop. The bus was late 10 minutes. With ten minutes to spare, I ran home and got my youngest ready and took the car to the bus stop with one minute to spare. The bus came 20 minutes later. With less than ten minutes to get to his school, I raced home, put some makeup on, gathered my things and headed off in morning traffic to his school. His bus arrived at school 20 minutes late and in that time the school secretary and I search the entire school for him unbeknownst to us his bus did not arrive. Things only went downhill from there for the poor little guy. His first day at his new school was horrible and he cried for an hour begging to return to his old school. I cried to my husband that we made a mistake in changing his school. And in my moment of guilt, I almost enrolled him back.

Surprisingly, I arrived at work only 1.5 hours late.

Aside from the late nights and early morning, for the past two weeks we shopped for shoes, pants, binders, pencils, memory sticks and a protractor set. On that note, I am not alone. In a small informal survey amongst friends and family, Back to School week was hectic to say the least. My girlfriend spent the week leading up to BtS away on business, ugh. My sister just drove her son to boarding school and with three days rest drives her daughter four hours away to college. Only to come home for the night and head out with her husband for his sports tournament in another state. My other sister drove her son to boarding school and gets her girls off to high school tomorrow. My other sister is home for two days and heads to the West Coast to bring her step son to his boarding school. Hectic. Crazy.

So there, my BtS week is comparable. By Monday, we will be smiling as our families acclimatize to the routines and we adjust to our freedom as our children are at school. I may start a cocktail luncheon on Mondays for all us moms.

Have a great day and smile because you can.