Starchy!

Is it not sad the only thing on my mind this morning was how could I starch my shirt without starch.  How sad is that?  So, I let the impulse get the better of me and Googled until I found a recipe.  For those of you needing to know this, not, here it is anyway:

• 1 tablespoon of corn starch
• 2 cups of cold water
• essential oil (optional)

1. Mix corn starch and water until dissolved, mixture will turn murky which is ideal.  
2. Add essential oil for fragrance (optional)
3. Pour in spray bottle
4. Shake well with each use
5. Lightly spray over clothing then iron away. 

That's what was on my mind today as I pack my son's clothing for Cub camp and decide whether to jump back under the cover on this second day of my period when the cramps are bad.  Starching triumphed my very inviting bed.

What else is on my mind?  A shit load of negative crap that I carry around like people carry bank cards.  The rest of my day will be spent working from my home office now that I have homemade starch.  

How's the book coming along you ask?  Pretty shitty right now.  It's haunting me.  Every time I reread the first chapter, I hear the inner critic bash it, commas and all.  So until that f&%*ing critic goes on holiday I refuse to open it, even though I have a self imposed deadline of eight weeks.  Tally-ho chaps.  

Kodak and me

The inventor of the camera files for bankruptcy today in Rochester, New York. Founded in 1892 by George Eastman, Kodak brought photos in to our lives first in black and white and later in color. So how could a 120 year company fall to its knees? What struck me was how the mighty fall and how no one including Kodak is off the hook from failure or change. This reminded me how volatile life is and that our perceptions really stamp out our future. Like a picture that captures a moment in time, it's how we perceive events that really mark our future. And this reminded me of my descent.

For years, I thought my life was a complete disaster in all ways. It began the summer I quit one of the most stressful jobs I ever had. I worked in a construction office where one day my boss was there and the next day he was in jail. I was not bombarded by press or police but family and I do not know what is worse. But when it's the people who you thought you could trust really move the earth beneath you. It was here that marked my slide into unemployment and self-doubt.

As I beat myself up at the fact I chose to work for this company, unbeknownst to me, a not so nice guy I questioned all my decisions and actions that lead to this. As I did this, things around me began to fall apart and I spent the summer beating myself up. I put on weight and a very negative outlook and the spiral just continued. When my son failed to get into one of the most sought after private schools, I blame myself for not spending more time with him and his studies. I left no part of myself unscathed.

How does this relate to Kodak, today, while I can admit this trek into beating myself up and being unnaturally hard on myself, I can say shit happens and you must learn from it and go on. Simply that. Don't lull or fret over how things could be different, just make them different. Change your perspective, even if you have to imagine it. Do whatever it takes to move on quickly, I took my time examining each and every decision I made that lead me to end up working for a shady guy. As I spent days, months and a year in my head, I lost touch with what really matter: Life.

Kodak will restructure and pull through bankruptcy by not holding onto things that didn't work in the past, as did I. I will admit cutting the chains that anchored me to the past were difficult and painful but even more rewarding and fulfilling. Gone on with your day.

 

Lynn Samuels

One day while driving I turned on Sirius to channel 107 to listen as I drove somewhere in late summer. I heard this screeching Brooklyn accent of a woman cussing and talking real fast about politics and taking callers. Over time, I became a listener of Lynn Samuels; I will be the first to say she was the type some needed to time to acquire a taste for. For instance, the time I tuned in as she ranted on and on about Obama, not in the mood for politico bashing I tuned her out.

But like wine, the more I tried the more I liked. It was not so much her politics as it was her wit and the fact she spoke like a sailor that entertained me. She made me laugh as I drove around on the weekends and captivated my interests on her broad range of subjects. It was then I learned a little about her: from the Bronx she had a long career on WABC in New York before landing at Sirius on America Left about eight years ago. Always a raunchy left wing on air personality, Ms Samuels apparently hit a few too many hot buttons at WABC that lead to her being fired twice. One time she complained about Sirius regulating her to Stars channel 107 on weekends and let me tell you she was not happy. I thought that in itself would she here fired but she was back the following week onto a new subject.

One of my first runs with Lynn Samuels on Sirius made me chuckle as she cussed her opinion about the Republicans and the last show I caught was her take on looking for a place in Arizona. Like I said, she was new to me in 2011 and I grew to like her and today on this Sunday morning Ms Samuels is missed. Maybe I'll tuned into Gayle King on CBS morings.