Back To School

Today is a big day in my household, my boys are back to school and HH (Hot Husband) has a full schedule this week. Yippeee!!! I feel a little guilty saying that or in this case writing it but it's true. For the first time in two months I get quiet and stillness in my home. I am a creature of this, always was and always will be. The anxiety of the first day of school showed on my face and my body, I had pep in my stride to the bus stop as my boys less than eagerly trudge their way. I was smiling inside and out. I had their lunches made before they were up, I set my alarm for an early 6:00 am start, coaxed HH out of bed and reminded him the horrible first day back to school traffic. My eagerness today turned out rather annoying for some by the look my older son shot at me as I skipped down the front stairs on our way to the bus stop. In previous years, I was despondent on the first day of school seeing my boys off, missing them before they even left for school, I cried on many occasions feeling my boys were growing up to fast, but mostly was the fact that I didn't spend enough time with them during summer vacation. They spent it with someone else, like a sitter or at camp, and it should have been spent with me, I am their mother. It was the Mother Guilt(MG). Today, it's still here camouflaged by the extra wide smile on my face on the first day of school. There is a tinge of MG sadness my smile tries to erases it but it lurks, right there in the corner where the fresh pink and delicate skin of my upper lip meets my glowing complexion, It's there like an eye tick or a tiny flutter but you need to look very closely. Maybe use a magnify glass.
But mostly, I am happy and exhilarated that I am home alone and have time to myself, which is quite necessary for most people. So what am I going to do with all my time? Hmmmmhhh. Write, read and do a few errands, relax and just enjoy the moments of solitude.