Picking sides..........

I think one of the worst things to realize we unintentionally pick sides with our children. This morning as I car pool boys to school for an early Ultimate Frisbee practice (Really, I'll get to ridiculous sports one day soon, promise) my boys fight over radio stations and who’s turn it is. For the first five minutes, I take in all the bickering and use my proven fairness technique of "The Five Minute Rule". The “Five Minute Rule” enacted this summer to instill fairness among my boys and maintain my sanity in our hour-long ride to the cottage. Two minutes into the rule the Red, older one, unfasten his seat belt in a moving vehicle to change channels. His irate behavior is noticeable in his face as he leans into the front seat to switch channels. Oh course I freak out and advise him to buckle up. Somewhere is this little skirmish transference occurs and I am the irate referee not car-pool mom. Firm and authoritative I drive the endless meandering streets of our small city on route to school. Red attempts on more than one occasion to blow off the rule and use his encyclopedia of reasoning and whining to get Top 20 on 20 on the airwaves. Unintentionally, I pick sides with my little one barking back to Red five minutes is not up knowing were into minute seven. Ugh. Only after the hundredth stop sign did the thought cross my mind I am choosing sides here. Hit me with the red bricks of his school, poor Eli, our carpool boy, must endure Red's mom so early in the morning. Busted. I pick sides by letting my little one listen to his 24/7 Emergency Alert channel for twice as long. Unintentionally though? Or so I think. Red is right all along when he cries I pick sides, admittedly not always for the same son. This morning I unintentionally do it again. Or was it intentional? Whatever the case I sit for a moment in the drop off lane and question my motives. No sooner, did it register, the doors fly open, book bags moving and the boys depart. Quickly, exiting the car and I trail behind them feeling like a heel. What a terrible mom I am? How could I pick side with my own kids? I did this with Hot Husband too. He brings it to my attention often enough. Is it fair to pick sides with your own children? I can see how easier it is with other children but with my own, ugh. This is something I will not share with my boys but intend on fixing. As a wise elder once said “some things are better left unsaid” and I plead the fifth when my sanity depends on it. Have a great day…