Phone Bugs Anonymous

I talked on the phone incessantly since my teenage years. I must have racked well over hundreds of thousands of dollars in bills. I loved to talk on the telephone with friends. My girlfriend and I tag teamed during a break up for close to a month until one day her boyfriend gave her an ultimatum, him or the phone. Politely understanding and for the first time seeing what a pain talking on the phone transformed into, I made a point of using the greatest invention less.

Fast forward to today, I am a reformed phone bug. I can go for days, weeks and sometimes months without using the phone for mundane conversation. I do use it and answer it for necessary reasons: my children, my husband and other mandatory things. What I do not use it for is to chit chat. Seldom. Really. Last month my BFF called to catch up keeping me on the line for over an hour. I finally let her go by agreeing to dinner later that week.

Aggravatingly, my closest and dearest sisters are phone bugs. One doe calls me two, three, four times a day. Often our conversation is plagued with dead air because there is not much left to discuss. She now does a play by play of her passing hours to fill the time. I love her dearly but find it such a waste of time. I don't mind speaking to her once a day but more than that is unnecessary.

You know there is not much left to discuss when you begin chit chatting about the weather. I like meeting in person over lunch or drinks to enjoy their company. And as any born again phone bug can attest to is the deep dislike for their former hang up. All the pun intended. Enjoy your day and don't call me, please.