Are there any good divorces?

How does one divorce? Are there any set rules? My parents divorce became official when I was fourteen; I went to school from our family home one day, only to be picked up after school by my older cousin. My younger sister and I stayed with her and her young family for about a month. I didn't completely get the bigger picture but I was glad to be away from the constant bickering and fighting in our home. We eventually moved a block away from my dad, not always a blessing in disguise but close enough to seek refuge from our dismal and depressing new abode.

Divorces are never easy and even the most amicable ones are stressful at times. The reason for the inquiry? Divorce struck in my family again, by all regards divorce occurs more frequently than we care to admit. But we all know a divorced couple, so there; it's not a rarity, like when my parents divorced. I knew no one whose parents were divorced, I didn't speak of it either and remarkably no one asked. Today, divorce is almost a given for half the population of married couples. But no one divorce is similar. A colleague recently remarked how her parents divorced over dinner and by dessert it was settled. I know of a couple who didn't divorce until fifteen years later, after living apart and quite separate lives. So there is no one way, no good way to divorce.

And when asked for advice on the couples impending divorce, like I have all the answers! I just suggested taking care of you first to be healthy for the children. Pack up the house and find a smaller more affordable place to live pronto and to remain as cordial as possible in front of the children. Because if anything, I was there as a waif teenager, not able to grasp the complexities of my parents' divorce and I was angry that we moved to a smaller, crappy house. All the amenities from the pre-divorce didn't magically appear. No. Times were bleak as my mom struggled as a single mom but she was happier. And that happiness translated into happier children over time. Divorce does suck but sometimes it's unavoidable.