Lumps in the Pudding II ©

Lumps in the Pudding turned out to be cysts in my breast which disappeared when I got my period. Viola. My doctor also confirmed the cysts were harmless and possibly reoccurring. So, to make my argument something good always comes of something bad, I use this experience.

I spent the last year crying and stressing that I had breast cancer. Many nights were spent lying awake wondering if my eight year would remember me when he grew up. Or, I would miss my older son’s graduation and I would not get to see what my children grow up. I wondered if my husband would remarry and should I put in my will not until the little one was older. And would my husband marry someone much younger and would she a great step-mother or a step-mommy from hell. I drummed up lists of things to cover in my will and wondered if any of my wishes would be carried out. Yes, I had all the morbid thoughts, except maybe planning my funeral. I just could not get my mind around that one.

In the last year, I learned all of my fears and things I would change in my life if I given the chance. Yes, I was terrified these lumps would kill me. In the Year of Fear, I read and read on how to make my brain stronger and as I sought out things to learn on making my brain work optimally and possibly change the course of my health, I stumbled across two particular authors: Daniel Amen on PBS and Ellen Langer’s book Mindfulness that really put things into perspective. Mindfulness by Harvard professor Mrs. Langer reinforced what I struggled to believe in that our brain is really in charge. It’s a must read for anyone facing health issues.

I viewed my results as a new lease on life. I cut my hair short again and starting exercising more regularly. I see things in a clearer manner. And yes, your brain is the most powerful thing in your life, use it well. Have a great, I know I am.