Monday, March 14, 2011

Am I Hard On Myself? Duh!

Are you kidding? Who is not hard on themselves?

Years ago, a group of moms gathered outside an arena waiting for our children to come out and one woman said to me "we are too hard on ourselves." I thought about that for some time and concluded it was true. But never for a moment did I internalize it like the article this weekend in the New York Times "Go Easy on Yourself, A New Wave of Research Urges" by Susan Pope lead me to.

It's true, I am compassionate to others, including children but when it comes to myself, now that's another story. Not a day goes by when I am critical about my weight, my hair, and my financial habits. I lose myself in the condemnation of myself when it comes to my weight. A perfect size 9 most of my life, I valued it, I showed it and I revelled in it. Until, I got comfortable and began putting on weight. Now, at 45 I am 30 pounds overweight and continuously beat myself up about it. But the whippings don't stop there, there's my non-career job, my inability to project the family income into the profitability sector of the economy, my inability to learn a second language, my childrearing skills and the list goes on. Catch me at 3 am when I am in the troughs of the whipping. It's in these moments that the self-loathing really takes place.

But I intellectually know to be kind to myself but realistically ain't so. And who said to be compassionate to yourself helps you lose weight. Boy, I am going to try that. Have a great day because compassion dictates that I should too. J

 

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