Silver Linings

There is a notion called a “Silver Lining” meaning when something goes wrong or something bad happens, something good comes out of it. Today, as I drove home on the freeway, I reminded myself of this notion. Moments earlier, I stepped out of a meeting that didn’t go as planned, a proposal I waited for almost a year to present did not meet the approval I hoped. In the first ten minutes or so, I maintained my composure, smiled and politely thanked people for their time. Thirty minutes later, clutching the steering wheel, my mind raced looking for answers and the notion of a “Silver Lining” popped into my head. Aha, I thought, there is a “Silver Lining” in all this. Instead calling a colleague to complain, I convinced myself the “Silver Lining" lures in the unknown, it’s here, close, nearby, I can almost put my finger on it. Maybe not today or tomorrow but soon the “Silver Lining” will show up, probably when I least expect it. It could be my time will be so consumed with other more important projects leaving no time for new ones or I’ll be on vacation for an extended period of time in Hawaii with my family. Maybe, this time next week my column will go in syndication leaving little time for anything else. Whatever the case, I am feeling much better already.

Changing Careers

For the past couple of years I realized I didn't like what I was doing. I recall mentioning this to a friend over lunch and taken back at what just came out of my mouth. From that point on I knew it to be true. At this point in my life, my career morphed into something I didn't like but stayed for the financial benefits. About a month ago in a crisis meeting, my mouth opened and words came out. It was like out of body or out of mind experience. I listened as I spoke the words of my resignation. Was I crazy giving up a excellent paying job with great flexibility and great vacation time? The vision of staying home for the summer with my boys was looming in the forefront of my thoughts. I truly believe my ego put them there to avoid a meltdown of tears in front of my boss. I could not believe I was leaving. I handed my keys and files over to the boss, lingered literally minutes and walked out. Walked out. Hot husband knew I was unhappy and urged me to tough it out a couple of months or until I lined up a new job. My conscious mind had no control over my abrupt quitting. Deep down I knew it was the right thing to do but I do miss the Independence of a high paying job. I felt accomplished and justified for all the wrong reasons. And if you haven't noticed I said job not career or passion because it was just that a JOB. So here I sit two days away from Summer Vacation with my boys and thinking about what I really want to do. Boy, at times it's an unguided dilemma with no exit in sight. Then there are moments my brain wraps around an undefined cluster of hope and direction on my career. It's a start for now.

What could you give up for a year?

What could I give up for a year? I could give up my job for a year and veg at home. I did it once when I abruptly lost my job. Yet I didn't veg, I couldn't. I felt guilty for sitting on my own couch. I believed constantly being "on" was the right thing to do. It felt like I was not permitted to relax and veg. Some of the guilt was that I was suddenly unemployed and should contribute somehow to our household. So I began a tirade of projects: painting half my home, organizing closets, gardening: planting way too many tomatoes and cleaning. You see, I am workaholic not driven by nature but I think by pure guilt of just about everything. I admitted this to my hot husband the other week and he quite quickly agreed with me. This time around the sans pas the guilt I could spend more time writing, take a artsy "fartsy" class or paint the other half of my home!!!

The things I could not give up for a year: sex, alcohol (not that I consume a lot but I do enjoy an occasional glass of wine), shopping and reading. What could you give up?